i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she told me i tasted like america
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize