I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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