i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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