I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
