Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize