I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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