okay pat passed out under dana's car
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
