just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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