Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What a dumb baby whore.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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