I want to walk on stilts...naked
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
