He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
