It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
