so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
