Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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