My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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