She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I forget how to act sober
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