is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Found your dick twin last night
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
