Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
