my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
