dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
