If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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