my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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