Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
