somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
