Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
