I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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