I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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