You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
