mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize