if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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