Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
