Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I will be naked everywhere
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
