just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
