I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
