Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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