I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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