Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
ok first of all what the fuck
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
