Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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