Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
