Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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