Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
