So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
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he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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