maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
