i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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