I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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