So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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