we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
