oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
