Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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