when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
