my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
