my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
